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Post by kyc on Nov 8, 2019 10:37:30 GMT
Review of the first two books of “Legends of the Condor Heroes”
A Hero Born: Legends of the Condor Heroes Vol. 1, translated by Anna Holmwood (MacLehose Press, 2018)
A Bond Undone: Legends of the Condor Heroes Vol. 2, translated by Gigi Lai (MacLehose Press, 2019)
I don't want to hijack the main Jin Yong thread and started this one to discuss Jin Yong's official English translations.
MacLehose Press has published two volumes of LOCH. The translators are Anna Holmwood (Vol. 1) and Gigi Lai (Vol. 2). I will review the translation of Volume One.
I have the physical books with me now and spent many hours doing a close reading of the first chapter. Unfortunately, Volume One is too long and I can't do the same to the rest of the volume. But the issues I have with Chapter One should be the same for the other 8 chapters.
Some patience is required. :-)
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Post by kyc on Nov 8, 2019 10:39:57 GMT
I. Controversy: translating names
The translators courted controversy by translating the given names. I'm firmly in the "Transliterate into pinyin, don't translate" camp. The main problem is of consistency.
Holmwood and Lai’s policy in translating names is erratic and inconsistent. Most of the names are translated, but some, like Guo Jing (郭靖) and Yang Kang (楊康), have been left untouched. Chinese names are often nuanced and have shades of meaning. The translated names often sound a bit vular to me (Mercy, Lily, Charity, Triumph, Skyfury and the likes.)
Sometimes, the translators invent meanings. 李萍 is Lily Li, when her name means “duckweed”, not “lily”. Ouyang Ke (歐陽克) becomes Gallant Ouyang, although ke means “to overcome”. His uncle Ouyang Feng (歐陽鋒) becomes Viper Ouyang, when feng means the sharp edge of a blade.
The translators might run into more problems for the subsequent volumes. I can foresee one: would 郭芙 be Lotus Guo, or Hibiscus Guo?
II. Abridgement
These translations are not totally unabridged. Some paragraphs have been left out. When I was going over the first chapter, an estimated one-sixth or one-fifth of the original text have been left out, like the discussions of the Emperor’s obsession with immortality, the corrupt Qin Hui’s deviousness etc. in Chapter 1.
When I was going through Chapter One, I realized that the translation left out many minor details. For example, in Chapter One, the storyteller Zhang Shiwu (Zhang the Fifteen) beats a ram-skin drum with his left hand. In the translation, these details in italics are gone. It becomes “he beats a steady rhythm on a small leather drum”. Zhang Shiwu has also become the more generic “Old Zhang”.
Leaving out these minor details have a cumulative effect in the entire volume. There will be five or six of such omissions in each chapter. Sometimes, a few paragraphs are paraphrased.
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Post by kyc on Nov 8, 2019 10:43:16 GMT
III. Close reading: Two extracts I will give here a close reading of two extracts to illustrate my issues with this translation. It seems that the translators have consulted both JY 2.0 and 3.0.The first extract is from the beginning of the book. I use v. 2.0 text here:錢塘江浩浩江水,日日夜夜無窮無休的從臨安牛家村邊繞過,東流入海。江畔一排數十株 烏桕樹,葉子似火燒般紅,正是八月天時。村前村后的野草剛起始變黃,一抹斜陽映照之下,更增了几分蕭索。兩株大松樹下圍著一堆村民,男男女女和十几個小孩,正自聚精會神的听著一個瘦削的老者說話。
那說話人五十來歲年紀,一件青布長袍早洗得褪成了藍灰色。只听他兩片梨花木板碰了几下,左手中竹棒在一面小羯鼓上敲起得得連聲。唱道:
“小桃無主自開花,煙草茫茫帶晚鴉。几處敗垣圍故井,向來一一是人家。”This is Anna Holmwood’s translation:The Qiantang River stretches from the west, where its waters swell day and night, past the new imperial capital of Lin’an and the nearby Ox Village, on to the sea in the east. Ten cypresses stand proudly along its banks, their leaves red like fire. A typical August day. The grasses are turning yellow beneath the trees and the setting sun is breaking through their branches, casting long, bleak shadows. Under the shelter of two giant pine trees, men, women and children have gathered to listen to a travelling storyteller.The man is around fifty, a pinched figure in robes once black, now faded a blue-grey. He begins by slapping two pieces of pear wood together, and then, using a bamboo stick, he beats a steady rhythm on a small leather drum. He sings:“Untended, the peach blossoms still open, As fallow fields of tobacco draw the crows. In times past, by the village well, Families once gathered to vent their sorrows.”As can be seen from this extract, translating Jin Yong is not easy. : ) Holmwood must be commended for her ear for idiomatic English. The translation is not slavishly literal. Although there are many details dropped (Zhang Shiwu’s drumming left hand, the number of children, Zhang Shiwu’s name, the ram-skin drum etc.), there are also many felicitous touches (“pinched figure”, “setting sun is breaking through their branches, casting long, bleak shadows”). It reads well.But even these two paragraphs are not error-free. There are at least four errors:1) There are in fact "several dozen trees" (數十株 or "tens of trees"), not "ten".2) The trees are not "cypresses" (柏) but rather, Chinese tallow trees (烏桕). Maybe Holmwood lifted the erroneously OCR’d passage from the internet. Or she might have mistaken the character 柏 for 桕.3) August day for 八月天時. The traditional lunar calendar is used here. If changed into the Gregorian calendar, this should be "September day". (Better to leave it as "the eighth (lunar) month".)4) Tobacco as 煙草. Surely this can’t be correct, since tobacco was only introduced to China in the Ming Dynasty. Even the Europeans didn't know about tobacco in 1200 AD. A check on the Pleco app gives 煙草 as 煙霧籠罩的草叢 (grasses in the mists).We can conclude that translating Jin Yong is not easy. The next extract comes from page 11 from Volume 1. I'm using this passage to illustrate the details left out in the translation. The parts left untranslated are in bold.秋盡冬來,過一天冷似一天。這一日晚間刮了半夜北風,便下起雪來。第二日下得更大,銀絮飛天,瓊瑤匝地,四下里都白茫茫地。楊鐵心跟渾家包氏說了,今晚整治酒肴,請義兄夫婦過來飲酒賞雪。吃過中飯後,他提了兩個大葫蘆,到村頭酒店去沽酒,到得店前,卻見一對板門關得緊緊地,酒帘也收了起來。
楊鐵心打了幾下門,叫道:“曲三哥,跟你沽三斤酒。”卻不聽得應聲。走到窗邊向內一張,見桌上灰塵積得厚厚地,心想:“幾天沒到村頭來,原來曲三不在家。可別出了事才好。”但見他那小女兒坐在地下,口中唱著兒歌,在獨自玩弄泥巴。楊鐵心心想這女孩顛顛傻傻,平日里盡胡說八道,料想問不出什麼,便衝風冒雪,到五里外的紅梅村去買了酒,就便又買了一隻雞,回到家來,殺了雞要渾家整治。(Holmwood’s translation):Autumn slowly gave way to winter. The days were getting colder and the first flakes of snow were beginning to fall. Soon the earth was covered in a veneer of white that shone like polished jade. Iron-heart Yang called to his wife, “I’m going to get some food and rice wine before Skyfury and his wife arrive.” Slinging two large gourds over his shoulder, he left for Qu San’s tavern.The snow was falling more heavily. As he trudged up towards the tavern, he noticed the door was shut tight and even the sign had been removed. Yang banged on the door a couple of times, shouting: “Qu San, I’m here for some wine.”Silence.He called out again, but still no response. He walked over to a window and peered inside. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. What’s happened? Yang thought. I hope it’s nothing serious. He spotted Qu San’s daughter playing nearby, but she was too young to give him any answers. As Qu’s inn was the only place to buy wine in Ox Village, Yang had no choice but to brave the blizzard and walk the two miles to Red Plum Village. At least there he would also be able to purchase a chicken for their meal.When her husband returned, Yang’s wife, Charity Bao, put the freshly slaughtered chicken into a big pot...----You can see the problem I have with this passage. The extract is well translated, but so many details are gone! The details about the girl (the original has her “singing a lullaby and playing with mud by herself. Yang Tiexin thought the girl was quite crazy--she kept blabbering on incoherently.” or the earlier part: “they were preparing a feast. They would invite his sworn brother and his wife for a drink and admire the snow. After lunch...”)There are as usual many felicitous touches from Holmwood, but many details are left untranslated. Would Jin Yong fans be satisfied?
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Post by kyc on Nov 8, 2019 10:43:58 GMT
IV. Style
A note about style. Jin Yong’s style can be described to the Chinese-less reader as meticulous, detailed and rather dense. His diction is somewhat elevated, but not so much as to alienate the common reader. Does Holmwood convey his style well?
I would say that Holmwood’s translation often reads fluently. But some details, the meticulousness with which Jin Yong sets his scene, are gone from the translation. Maybe Holmwood’s editors insisted on removing what they thought were excessive details. To me, God is in the details.
This translation is not a literary translation issued by a university press. Otherwise, they would probably pay more attention to the style.
This translation is definitely less literary than the original. But English editors always prefer a more readable (and slightly dumbed down) text.
V. Conclusion
Would I recommend this translation to a new Jin Yong reader? Unfortunately, the Chinese-less reader has no choice. The translation is not error-free, nor does it looks to replicate Jin Yong’s style. But it reads fluently and idiomatically. There are some abridgements. I would prefer Holmwood to hew closer to the text; maybe her editors prefer a slimmer volume.
In short, I can give this a tentative recommendation. Meticulous readers can also read the unofficial translation at Spcnet. That one isn’t as well edited and is by many hands, but follows Jin Yong’s style more closely and is unabridged.
I will review the second volume (done by Gigi Lai) in maybe a couple of weeks.
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Post by siuyiu on Nov 9, 2019 4:39:14 GMT
great thread, kyc! i'm just offering my two-cents: i'm in no way defending holmwood's abridgements, but as one who has had to do translations as part of my job, it's not easy. one of the biggest challenges when translating from chinese to english is that the compactness of the chinese language is completely lost when translated to english. you can fit a lot of description with a handful of chinese characters that would end up being a very long sentence in english. i think this is one of the major considerations holmwood and/or her editor had. yes, lovely details go missing, but the text is less bogged down and is easier to read. it is an unfortunate sacrifice, but as modern readers do not like reading dickens-length sentences with lots of descriptions, tons of commas, and sophisticated vocab and sentence structure, you end up compromising for ease of reading. i agree that it's an unfortunate casualty and definitely negatively impacts in terms of getting a feel for the writing style and rhythm of the original text.
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Post by siuyiu on Nov 9, 2019 4:46:15 GMT
I. The controversy of translating names
Holmwood and Lai’s policy of translating names is erratic and inconsistent. Most of the names are translated, but others, like Guo Jing (郭靖) and Yang Kang (楊康), are left untouched.
again, i'm not defending holmwood nor do i know her thought process on this, but may i offer a possible justification: if she did translate their names, then the connection to 靖康之變 The Jingkang Incident would be impossible to explain without a lengthy footnote. and knowing the connection is rather the entire point of their names--to remember that sad event and hope that the two boys will grow up to do good for emperor and country.
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Post by kyc on Nov 9, 2019 8:56:14 GMT
great thread, kyc ! i'm just offering my two-cents: i'm in no way defending holmwood's abridgements, but as one who has had to do translations as part of my job, it's not easy. one of the biggest challenges when translating from chinese to english is that the compactness of the chinese language is completely lost when translated to english. you can fit a lot of description with a handful of chinese characters that would end up being a very long sentence in english. i think this is one of the major considerations holmwood and/or her editor had. yes, lovely details go missing, but the text is less bogged down and is easier to read. it is an unfortunate sacrifice, but as modern readers do not like reading dickens-length sentences with lots of descriptions, tons of commas, and sophisticated vocab and sentence structure, you end up compromising for ease of reading. i agree that it's an unfortunate casualty and definitely negatively impacts in terms of getting a feel for the writing style and rhythm of the original text. I will offer my two cents too. As someone who does part-time translation, I fully understand what you mean. Chinese syntax do not translate well into English. Since one is translating the sense, one needn't follow the Chinese syntax closely. You can break a long sentence into two or three since I don't approve of overly literal translations as well. What I object to is the loss of details. To make something readable is the overriding concern of modern editors, since they are afraid the books won't "sell" if readers find them hard to read. You could have a compromise. Chinese does clamp details together with lots of commas, but a translator doesn't need to follow the Chinese syntax too closely. I would like to see no loss of details. Unless a translation is done by a university press, translators usually don't care to emulate the style of the original. Since Jin Yong fans are idealists, we always hope for perfection.
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Post by kyc on Nov 9, 2019 9:17:43 GMT
again, i'm not defending holmwood nor do i know her thought process on this, but may i offer a possible justification: if she did translate their names, then the connection to 靖康之變 The Jingkang Incident would be impossible to explain without a lengthy footnote. and knowing the connection is rather the entire point of their names--to remember that sad event and hope that the two boys will grow up to do good for emperor and country. I can accept that for Yang Kang and Guo Jing, but there are others which they leave untranslated. There doesn't seem to be a strong guiding principle behind everything. From the glossary: Some are left in pinyin: Qu San (why isn't this translated? San means "three" and following what David Tod Roy used to do, will translate well into English. If so, it will be "Qu the Third". It's a vulgar sounding name but it's meant to be.) Mu Yi Double Sun Wang Chongyang Scarlet Sun Ma Yu Eternal Spring Qiu Chuji Jade Sun Wang Chuyi Zhang Asheng Wang Daqian Wanyan Honglie Wanyan Hongxi etc. Sometimes they translate both: Ke Zhen'e, Suppressor of Evil, also known as Flying Bat (Zheng'e means "suppressor of evil") Quick Hands Zhu Cong the Intelligent (Cong means intelligent) Most they translate, such as Lotus Huang etc. Now and then they would create a whole new sense, like Gallant Ouyang, Viper Ouyang, Lily Li. I think they took the cue from David Hawkes, who also translated certain names for Dream of the Red Chamber. But Hawkes had a principle: he would only translate servants' names. Those of monks, nuns and priests/priestesses he rendered into Latin, the rest he left in pinyin. It is all very clear. The names here are quite chaotic, because you really don't know whether it's a sobriquet or not. If a sobriquet, it is bestowed by other martial artists. If not, they are given by one's parents. It leaves the readers unclear over this difference. Maybe the real reason is that I find these translated names a bit vulgar. They can't contain the metaphoric nuance of the Chinese original. Maybe that's why I object.
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Post by kyc on Nov 9, 2019 9:43:27 GMT
To illustrate one point with an example:
Zhu Cong's sobriquet in Chinese is "The Deft-Hand Scholar". In the translation, "scholar" is inexplicably dropped. Why? Zhu Cong often quotes classic texts pedantically and humorously and the humor is lost without the "scholar".
Actually I'm not against the translation of names. I just feel it's better done in a glossary, not in the text proper.
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Post by siuyiu on Nov 9, 2019 20:37:35 GMT
kyc when we first learned about the translation, the group definitely agreed that the mixed translations/transliterations of the names made no sense! and yeah, the sad thing about translating names is that you lose the poetry of the original name, especially from chinese to english. that's interesting about the names like qu san--why would holmwood be, i dunno, too polite to translate the name? it's a reality of chinese names that some are vulgar and don't have "proper" names--i know an auntie whose name is "thirteen" because that's her birth order and her father clearly didn't care about giving his daughters proper names. while i agree with you about losing details, i can only say that real JY fans are lucky they can read the books in the original language.
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Post by kyc on Dec 15, 2019 10:58:58 GMT
A not-so-thorough review of A Bond Undone, Volume 2 of Jin Yong’s Legends of the Condor Heroes, translated by Gigi Chang.
I will examine three extracts and make some observations. On the whole, I like this translation better than Book 1's.
I. Names
Strangely, Hong Qigong (洪七公)’s name is rendered “Count Seven” in this book. This name is a head-scratcher.
Gong (公) is a term of respect bestowed by Hong Qigong’s followers. Hong Qigong’s actual name is Hong Qi. Since Hong Qigong is a vagabond beggar, not an aristocrat, “Count” as a title of nobility is a mistranslation. If it means count as in “one, two, three…”, it's even more puzzling...
For some strange reason, Huang Yaoshi calls Zhou Botong "Brother Bottom" (不通兄). I admit I don’t know enough to comment. Is 不通 Zhou Botong’s original name? Why "Bottom"? Maybe someone can enlighten me.
II. Style
On the whole, Book 2 reads well but this translation is rather free which will not please purists. Gigi Chang, together with her editor(s), works the original quite a bit. Minor details are excised, syntax and even entire paragraphs are shifted about. The translation is fluent with many felicitous touches. I especially enjoyed Mei Chaofeng’s flashback sections.
Jin Yong’s rather dense style has been leavened to give a lighter feel. There are many occasions when this translator writes a one-sentence paragraph. For example:
Panting.
That was it. No sound of any movement...
Or:
It always worked.
Shifu would smile, go to his study and come back with a few sheets of poetry written in his calligraphy.
The translation at Spcnet should give a closer approximation of Jin Yong’s actual paragraphing.
III. Other Observations
There are only 19 chapters in these two volumes. Book 1 consists of 9 chapters, Book 2, 10. One chapter has gone missing but wonder not, some parts have been condensed. This is not a 100% unabridged translation. Instead of giving us Chapters 11-20 like the original volume, Book 2 starts with Chapter 1 again.
Gigi Chang is a very good translator, although I puzzled over a few translations. For example, Chapter 1’s 往事如煙 is translated as “Smoke of the Past”. There is no such idiom in English and without the Chinese, it is mystifying… until one turns to the translation at Spcnet: “Spectres of the Past”. The meaning is immediately made clear.
This translation follows Jin Yong v. 3.0. So all the sleazy parts about Mr. Huang falling for Mei Chaofeng are here.
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Post by kyc on Dec 15, 2019 11:07:23 GMT
IV. Close Readings of three extracts
A.
黃蓉出言相激,讓他召來眾姬,原想乘閣中人多雜亂,借機脫身,哪知歐陽克看破她用意,待眾姬進廳,立即擋在門口,折扇輕搖,紅燭下斜睨黃蓉,顯得舉止瀟洒,神情得意。二十二名姬人退在他身后,都目不轉睛地瞧著黃蓉,有的自慚形穢,有的便生妒心,料知這樣的美貌姑娘既入“公子師父”之眼,非成為他的“女弟子”不可,此后自己再也休想得他寵愛了。這二十二名姬人在他身后這麼一站,有如兩面屏風,黃蓉更難奪門逃出。
黃蓉見計不售,說道:“你如真的本領了得,我拜你為師那再好沒有,免得我給人家欺侮。”歐陽克道:“莫非你要試試?”黃蓉道:“不錯。”歐陽克道:“好,你來吧,不用怕,我不還手就是。”黃蓉道:“怎麼?你不用還手就勝得了我?”歐陽克笑道:“你打我,我喜歡還來不及,怎舍得還手?”
眾人心中笑他輕薄,卻又頗為奇怪:“這小姑娘武功不弱,就算你高她十倍,不動手怎能將她打敗?難道會使妖法?”
黃蓉道:“我不信你真不還手。我要將你兩隻手縛了起來。”歐陽克解下腰帶,遞給了她,雙手疊在背后,走到她面前。黃蓉見他有恃無恐,全不把自己當一回事,臉上雖仍露笑容,心中卻越來越驚,一時彷徨無計,心想:“只好行一步算一步了。”接過腰帶,雙手使力向外一崩,那腰帶似是用金絲織成,雖使上了內力,竟崩它不斷...
Lotus had hoped that the women’s entrance would be enough of a distraction to allow her to escape, but Gallant Ouyang was too quick for her, planting himself by the doorway.
Fanning himself idly with his gentleman folding fan, the leering dandy let his gaze rest on Lotus as his concubines regrouped. They now flanked him protectively blocking the way out like two screens. Their eyes fixed on Lotus with sadness and jealousy. They knew they were about to lose favour with their fickle master.
Knowing she would not stand a chance against this human blockade, Lotus said, “If your kung fu proved worthy of the title shifu, I’d happily call you that so no-one could trouble me again.”
“You wish to try my skills?”
“Indeed.”
“It would be my pleasure. I promise I won't raise a hand against you.”
“You think you can win without using your hands?”
“You can't imagine the thrill our encounter has given me. How could I lift a finger against you?”
The men sniggered at Gallant Ouyangs suggestive reply—though, having seen her martial skills, they all doubted his claim. Unless he used sorcery surely there was no earthly way he could defeat her without taking the offensive.
“I don't trust you. You must tie your hands.”
Gallant Ouyang obliged, removing his belt and holding it out for Lotus. She took it with a smile, but his confidence made her uneasy
I just have to take it one step at a time, she said to herself as she summoned her internal strength and tugged the belt to test how strong the fabric was. To her surprise, it did not give. Could it be woven from metal threads?
---------------------
On the whole, this passage is very well done. Other than the parts in bold, which have been excised, the translation flows well and conveys the original’s sense effectively. It does not follow the Chinese syntax slavishly.
Gigi Chang sometimes simplifies the original, e.g. “Their eyes fixed on Lotus with sadness and jealousy” for 瞧著黃蓉,有的自慚形穢,有的便生妒心. (literally, “they fixed their eyes on Huang Rong, some feeling ashamed of their own ugliness, others green with jealousy.”)
B.
兩人趕到一個小鎮,住了一宵,次日買了一匹高頭白馬。郭靖一定要騎白馬,把紅馬讓給黃蓉乘坐。兩人按轡緩行,一路游山玩水,樂也融融,或曠野間並肩而臥,或村店中同室而居,雖然情深愛篤,但兩小無猜,也不過分親密。黃蓉固不以為異,郭靖亦覺本該如此。兩人身邊金銀不少,飲食不虞匱乏。
這一日來到山東西路襲慶府泰寧軍地界,時近四月,天時已頗為炎熱。兩人縱馬馳了半天,一輪紅日直照頭頂,郭靖與黃蓉額頭與背上都出了汗。大道上塵土飛揚,粘得臉上膩膩的甚是難受。黃蓉道:“咱們不趕道了,找個陰涼的地方歇歇吧。”郭靖道:“好,到前面鎮甸,泡一壺茶喝了再說。”
The next morning, Guo Jing purchased a white horse for himself to lighten the load on Ulaan. They travelled southwards at a leisurely pace, enjoying the scenery. Sometimes they slept under the stars, side by side; sometimes they shared a room in a village inn. Close though they were, they were always chaste.
Lotus Huang had been brought up under the influence of her father Apothecary Huang's unorthodox views, rejecting the etiquette and rules of the time. She saw nothing untoward or unusual about Guo Jing’s companionship. Guo Jing, with his upbringing in Mongolia, simply followed his heart. He had always done what felt right and natural to him. They also had plenty of gold and silver, so they wanted for nothing on their journey
By the fourth lunar month, they were approaching the Taining-jun area of Xiqing city in eastern Shandong. Having been in the saddle all morning that warm, sunny day their faces were sticky with sweat and dirt from the road.
“Let's find a spot of shade,” Lotus said.
“The town is just ahead. Why don't we stop there for a pot of tea?” Guo Jing replied.
-----
This extract demonstrates the translation philosophy of Gigi Chang well. She pares away some details from the original, but nothing of significance. Those parts excised are in bold. For example, the passage starts with “They travelled hastily to a small town and stayed there for a night” (兩人趕到一個小鎮,住了一宵), which is gone in the translation. Some details, like “Guo Jing insisted on riding the white horse, leaving the red for Huang Rong” (郭靖一定要騎白馬,把紅馬讓給黃蓉乘) are also gone. Most are minor, e.g. when they sleep under the stars on “an open plain.” (曠野間)
Gigi Chang’s translation philosophy can be described as “sense for sense”. She will not hesitate to amplify the sense; the parts in italics are not originally in the text. (Lotus Huang had been brought up under the influence of her father Apothecary Huang's unorthodox views, rejecting the etiquette and rules of the time.)
She does not make the mistake as Anna Holmwood in translating 四月 as "April."
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Post by kyc on Dec 15, 2019 11:13:46 GMT
C.
洪七公白眼道:“可不是麼?那還用說?你滿頭大汗地練了這麼久,原來連這點粗淺道理還剛想通。可真笨得到了姥姥家。”又道:“這一招叫作‘亢龍有悔’,掌法的精要不在‘亢’字而在‘悔’字。倘若只求剛猛迅捷,亢奮凌厲,只要有幾百斤蠻力,誰都會使了。這招又怎能叫黃藥師佩服?‘亢龍有悔,盈不可久’,因此有發必須有收。打出去的力道有十分,留在自身的力道卻還有二十分。哪一天你領會到了這‘悔’的味道,這一招就算是學會了三成。好比陳年美酒,上口不辣,后勁卻醇厚無比,那便在於這個‘悔’字。天下什麼事情,凡是到了極頂,接下去便是衰退,我這降龍十八掌,根源於《易經》的道理。《易經》講究的是‘泰極否來,否極泰來’。‘亢龍有悔’的道理,乃是還沒到頂,便預留退步。這才是有勝無敗的武功。武功有勝無敗,夠厲害了吧?就算真的要敗,那也不妨,咱們留下的后勁還是深厚得很。”
洪七公見他臉上神色似懂非懂,說道:“這‘降龍十八掌’的道理,深奧得很。當年我恩師教我之時,我還以為出掌越強越好,拼命發力,給恩師重重打了幾個耳光,說道:‘這掌法的精義,剛好跟蠻牛撞牆的道理相反。一招發出去,就算有幾千斤、一萬斤的力道,終究有使盡之時,敵人如是高手,就在你力道使盡的一瞬間,突然反擊,你一萬斤的力道已經使盡了,剩下來的連幾兩幾錢也沒有,他只消使三斤力氣,就打垮了你的一萬斤力道,..."
“Obviously! You’ve been sweating over the move for half a day and you only just realised? You really haven't got much in there, have you?” Count Seven tapped the side of his skull in exasperation. “Remember the name: Haughty Dragon Repents. The essence of the move is not about being 'haughty', it's in the 'repent'. Anyone with a few muscles can muster up fast, brute force. Do you think that’s enough to win Apothecary Huang‘s approval?
“ ‘The haughty dragon repents, what waxes must wane.’ Propel and withdraw. For each palm thrust you launch, you must have at least twice the strength reserved in your body When you understand what 'repent' means in action, then you will have grasped about a third of what this move is about. It’s like a vintage wine: smooth on the palette, a powerful kick at the end. This is 'repent'.
“It's the same with everything in this world: once at the peak, the only way forward is down. Dragon-Subduing Palm is rooted in the I’Ching: From prosperity’s peak, adversity grows; from adversity’s trough, prosperity climbs. That’s the theory underlying Haughty Dragon Repents. You reserve your strength for the descent, before you even reach the climax. That is why it is a technique that can never be defeated. How often do you hear that? Even if you lose, it's no big deal, because you’ve got plenty of power left in reserve.”
Seeing confusion etched on Guo Jing’s face, Count Seven Hong changed tick. "When I first started, I thought, if I put more energy into the thrust, surely it would make it better, so I channelled more and more strength into it. Suddenly; my shifu slapped me very hard in the face and said, 'The spirit of this move is the exact opposite of a bull running into a wall. You may be able to summon a force of tens of thousands of jin in one move, but you will always reach your limit. A skilled opponent will attack you the moment your strength is drained. Then all it takes is a nudge to overpower you.”
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This is the best translated extract of the three, and deserves an applause. The translator manages to reframe traditional kungfu and philosophical thoughts into something intelligible in English—no mean feat. Some minor details in bold have been excised (like Hong Qigong “rolling his eyes” at Guo Jing), but nothing of importance.
Gigi Chang embellishes the translation with a sentence not in the original: “Count Seven tapped the side of his skull in exasperation.”
V. Conclusion
I did a fairly close reading of the first two or three chapters and browsed through the rest. I did not find any outright howlers. Book 2 of the Condor Heroes is well translated by Gigi Chang, although like Anna Holmwood before her, she sometimes pares away minor details. Her translation philosophy is mostly “dynamic equivalence” (i.e. sense for sense, not word for word). Now and then, she would amplify the text.
Perhaps it is asking too much for a commercial press to adhere closely to Jin Yong’s style. In Chinese, Jin Yong’s language is significantly denser and often richer. Still, I think the translator did a good job in Book 2.
Like in Book 1, interested readers can compare it to the (unofficial) translation at Scpnet. That was done by many hands, and follows the original more closely in terms of details (not excised) and paragraphing. It is, however, not as well edited.
Book 3 of the Condor Heroes will be released in January 2020, also translated by Gigi Chang.
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Post by atumiwa on Dec 15, 2019 14:40:57 GMT
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Post by kyc on Dec 15, 2019 16:04:20 GMT
One is a Kindle eBook, the other a Google eBook. The third one is an audio recording. I think abridgement can't be helped. The publisher is risking a new author and has to keep costs down, hence the slight abridgement. Fox Volant is a short novel and may not be abridged. I heard Graham Earnshaw only abridged. John Minford changed the story a bit to "improve" the original.
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